ranting away.

so today started off on a pretty good note. it was the first day back to school..and i wasn't really quite in school mode yet, but i was looking forward to going back too. and i got weighed this morning, and that went well. which is always good. and i just started off the day feeling pretty good.
but it just kind of went down hill from there.
i'm in nutrition right now...which has been sort of a rough class to sit through this semester. i don't know, something about talking about food and weight and exercise and nutrients and the way that teachers always present eating disorders just bugs the shit out of me. and i'm always like, anxious when i sit through that class. well anyways, we had to do this project for the end of the semester...on a nutrition related disease. and we had to present it to the class. so i was in a group with a lot of my pretty good friends from last year...who saw me when i was at my lowest point. and when we got the assignment i started thinking. i was like hmmm. i know everything that we need to know about anorexia. (obviously, ha.) and that means ZERO RESEARCH REQUIRED hahaha. which basically equals, not a lot of work. so i decided to throw out the idea of doing anorexia as our topic. i never officially like told my friends about my problem last year or this year...but when i sat down and told them about it, they knew already. just from seeing and being around me last year. so that went really well. and we threw our project together really easily. all of the information was already in my head haha.
anyways. i promise i'm getting to the point. tonight was our night to present this to the class. and like, i wasn't that worried about it, but obviously i was a little nervous - not only am i not a huge fan of public speaking..we were talking about a subject that some people in the class knew i have, are bias towards, etc. etc.
and it wasn't really the presentation that bothered me so much. it was right before we started. when a couple guys in the front row started like, snickering about the topic. i didn't quite catch what they said..but i'm pretty sure we all have an idea. and i don't think they know i have an eating disorder. i don't know either of them that well. but still...it's just like, why is there such a negative stereotype around it? when we talked about problems dealing with overweight people..snickering comments weren't made. and i guess that's what pisses me off so much. while there IS a stigma about people that are overweight...i don't feel like it's portrayed as negatively as anorexia and bulimia are. like, what is so different? obese people are hurting themselves. knowingly. they choose to eat. just like we choose not to? so i guess i just don't understand the difference.
and i'm not sure why that bothered me so much. i mean, obviously i know people have that look on it. but for some reason it just got me thinking. and i just wanted to like, hit them. and just be like look. you don't know the first thing about it. so shut the fuck up.

but anyways, i'm done ranting for now. sorry that this was one big like, bitch session.