fat, fat, fat.

i had a really bad "fat" day today. it's the worst one that i've had in a long time. and i'm not really sure what to think about it. i just felt really uncomfortable in my own skin. and calories and weight and all of that was really on my mind. i don't know why, but i keep giving into it more and more lately. i keep adding things up and choosing the lower calorie things and getting anxious about having extra. i haven't been drinking as much lately either because for a while i was drinking a lot of G2, but because of the extra calories in it i haven't been lately. but i haven't been replacing it with anything either. so that hasn't been good. and on top of that i've been doing the insanity workouts with some friends from school. they have the video down there, and we go between/after classes to do them. well this weekend, since i commute and don't have the videos, didn't do any of the workouts and idk, i've just felt really guilty all weekend for not exercising and just like not doing them. but at the same time i'm really sore and i'm not sure if doing those workouts is too intense for my body right now or good for it. i don't know, i'm just having a lot of conflicting feelings today. and i ate more than i feel like i should have tonight and now i'm freaking out about it. normally i don't freak out this badly. the thoughts are just really really there lately. and i don't know what to do it about it.